It’s a stunning Fall Day. The trees are shedding and it’s cool and sunny with a slight breeze. I should be outdoors, but since finishing my book and recording a song I wrote Jenny, I’ve been compelled to purge and organize. I also decided that it’s time to start my After Thoughts Blog instead of posting blurbs from my book.
During Covid my therapy office became my dumping grounds. Anything and everything I didn’t know what to do with was thrown into my calming space. Now I must pay my penance and tackle an overwhelming mess.
After removing a few large items, I decided to have a go at the shelves. I own many books. However, that is an understatement. I own so many books. They are treasures to me so I can’t just get rid of them. They are my security blankets. Some I have read, and some have been patiently waiting for me to open them up and learn about one more counseling theory, helping children, or curing depression. I feel guilty about the books I bought but didn’t read. There is so much knowledge that could be filed away in my brain for later use.
Today I came across a heavy pile of counseling and psychology magazines. I know why I saved them. They have articles I thought I might need someday. I perused the subjects and regretted not reading them. I started to sort them and keep a few, but I suddenly put them in a pile for recycle. Then I began to pull books off the shelf that I hadn’t read and wondered if I would ever need to learn the wisdom hiding within their pages. Again, I put them in a pile to donate to the local library.
I love learning, but something in me tells me that it’s acceptable to stop. I have lived most of my life. I have studied and absorbed so much knowledge during my time on earth. I am giving myself permission to let go of my need to know as much as I can about everything that interests me. I must be done with how to cure this, and how to manage that. Instead of overwhelming an already crowded brain, it’s time for me to let go and apply what I have learned from living and education to the years that remain. I am graduating from learning. However, I realize I am learning something new.
I will go and sit on my therapy couch and rest knowing that I may have helped someone with information I absorbed in one of those many books. I still have much to organize but somehow, I feel it will all be good. I’m learning to let go.
